Knitting and Sljivovica

Sep 11, 2014

Missouri Lawmakers: More Guns In Schools!

I know Missouri educators.  I have seen what is happening in school districts like Hickman Mills (autoplay video of news clip) - an all-day, universal preschool program so rushed into existence that many classrooms don’t have furniture, children’s IEPs are not being met (including accommodations for children with disabilities, as there are not enough speech therapists and other staff to meet these needs), and where teachers cannot legally take a bathroom break due to classroom overcrowding.

So now we’re going to give guns to these dangerously exhausted educators, and magically expect that no four-year-olds will get their hands on a weapon?  This bill passed with greater than 2/3 majority, so the governor cannot veto this bill.  Do we have to wait until children die from accidental shootings before we can do anything about this?

Sep 9, 2014


it infuriates me when people tell me “lifes too short to not forgive people!” like NO lifes too short for me to continually allow abusive and manipulative behavior in my life and live in a constant state of anxiety bc I want to be “nice” or whatever

(via madamethursday)

Sep 8, 2014




Using the word psychopathy to describe abusers is utterly unacceptable to me.

Please do not do this.

People elect to burn away their empathy.

People elect to bury self analysis in denial

People elect to become manipulative toxic monstrosities.

These are choices, choices that can eventually dominate a person’s entire being, but still choices. Acts of evil. Things you train yourself to do. Denial can make a person unaware. That doesn’t change what it is.

Not a disorder. Not a mental illness.

Please do not ever do this. It hurts all of us who are mentally ill and it hurts people with psychosis disorders and heavily violence associated disorders (like borderline) the absolute most.

Please just stop

hey i get what you’re saying and all, and using “psychopath” to describe an abuser is a terribly ableist thing to do…
but relating lack of empathy as a cause of abusers is also a really terribly ableist thing to do? so maybe let’s avoid that?

True, scratch that part. People can lack empathy and still treat other people like human beings with respect

It’s also worth noting that my abuser has very well developed empathy - she knows exactly what she’s doing, and routinely selects the most emotionally devastating course of action.  That is difficult to do if you have trouble conceptualizing how other people feel.  

My non-abusive parent, on the other hand?  The whole family has a lot of trouble with empathy, but they all take steps to ensure that they don’t purposefully hurt people, including stopping hurtful actions when you say they are hurtful.

Aug 21, 2014

  • east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
  • west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
  • Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years

Aug 17, 2014

Knitting and Sljivovica

Anonymous said: That is so gross about the hair touching, and the white women who assaulted her did not get into any trouble? :( I hope she does, like a back hand to the face.

No, the white women at work never face reprimands (at least none that I hear about, and none that are severe enough to stop the behavior), and there are no group-wide sensitivity trainings or whatever.  Since I am white-passing, it is reasonably low-risk for me to make complaints to management, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.  Most likely because all but one of the managers (my boss, his boss’s boss, and his boss’s boss’s boss) are white, and my boss’s boss is not black.

Aug 14, 2014

Knitting and Sljivovica

Anonymous said: I feel so useless sitting here. What can I do to help Ferguson??



there’s a bail and legal fund that’s been set up for those who’ve been arrested 

this person is trying to organize a food drive for school kids in ferguson

national moment of silence 2014 (for victims of police brutality) 

share the following: 

videos of what has happened

links to articles

how to make a tear gas mask

livestream link to the peaceful protests

Ferguson Police Department
Email (taken off the site) 

222 S. Florissant Road
Ferguson, MO 63135

Ph: 314-522-3100
Fx: 314-524-5290


Aug 14, 2014

Work Update

As I mentioned a few days ago, white women at my work like to violate the boundaries of women of color.  They like this a lot.

On Saturday, one of the worst offenders literally chased a young black woman around our area trying to touch her hair.  The young woman kept firmly saying no, and a few of the rest of us kept telling the white woman to grow up and respect personal space.  I was told to stop overreacting by a neoliberal white woman (racism will go away if people stop talking about it!), and the woman who was assaulted gave her one-day notice on Tuesday, our next work day.  I hope she got another job in a better environment than this.

I am seriously about to bring in a kindergarten teacher.  None of the managers (4 levels up) I have made complaints to care enough to do anything, maybe time-out will help.  Revoke their Chick-Fil-A privileges or something.

Aug 14, 2014

Sorry for kind of disappearing.  I had a rough time for a stretch there (still kind of am, but it’s getting better, so let’s go with that).

I fell down a few stairs this morning, and seem to have bruised my tailbone.  The midwife said that this is the “best” time of pregnancy to do that, and I haven’t experienced any symptoms that suggest an issue with the pregnancy, so that’s cool.  Driving (and any extended sitting, really) is pretty excruciating, though.  Hopefully that heals soon.  I really do wish that the on-call midwife hadn’t acted like I was being silly by having a panic attack, though, especially since I have notes about the fact that I experience panic attacks in my chart.  I explained how the amygdala works, and that seemed to get a more helpful response from her, but it was incredibly dismissive and unprofessional.

The news from Ferguson is incredibly disturbing, but not at all shocking.  My sister lives in Ferguson, and works closely with the police of a nearby city.  She was pretty racist before going there, but way more racist after, especially against black people.  Her husband is participating in the white people’s response to useful, informative hashtags surrounding the murder and subsequent police assaults.  It’s called #thisismyferguson, and basically shows white people going out to dinner.  So useful and informative and not at all demeaning towards the people affected by anti-black racism in their city.

Aug 7, 2014

Someone at work touched my hair today.  It’s bad enough when they touch my shoulder or something, but my haaaair.  I almost cried, because pregnant and sick is a stressful combination to begin with.  I just about stabbed her arm with my pen.  I’m still thinking about covering tomorrow, because these people don’t understand the concept of me not wanting to be touched by their unclean (this is a veterinary lab, so I am speaking in both the literal and figurative senses) hands.

Of course this was a white woman.  It’s always the white women who do this, and seem to get satisfaction out of knowingly violating the boundaries of every “exotic” woman (not out gender-wise at work, but I am about my ethnicity because of certain preferences I have about how I handle feces and body fluids, so that’s how they read me) there.  There are two people at work who are allowed to touch me, and that is because they asked permission first, and know to ask permission every time.  People getting to touch me is rare, and there are only four people or so who don’t have to ask (directly or indirectly) first, only one of whom I am not related to (she still asks or waits for me to initiate).

This is what happens to the people who pass as white at work.  Things are infinitely worse for the folks who don’t.

Aug 7, 2014



She wears short skirts I wear t-shirts and we’re both getting sent home from school because its distracting to boys apparently

okay this one made me laugh

(via youbestnotmiss)